Song and Dance

How to Ensure Coach and Student are
Singing from the Same Song Sheet with The Inner Game

I can remember clearly the feelings of anger, frustration and lack of self-worth as my art teacher leaned over my shoulder with an air of infallibility and began to paint over John McEnroe's shorts in the mistaken belief that they were too short. 'This is the way they need to look', he said as he took the brush from my hand. 'Watch how I use a touch of darker grey to make the shadows better.' I had devoted a very focussed portion of the lesson to crafting the details of Mr McEnroe's clothing and although I realised he would never know of the dubious honour he was being given on top of his Wimbledon trophies, it was somehow very important to me to do justice to his achievements. But now it was no longer my picture.

Later, I showed the painting to my mum hoping for the approval that had been withheld earlier. She did everything she could to praise my efforts, but it didn't quite redress the balance and even when I made a proper song and dance about the incident to get it off my chest, the resentment lived on. Perhaps that's one of the things that attracted me to the Inner Game years later.

Another time when I was struggling to work my way up my college team rankings in America, I remember feeling a little too isolated, in need of some expert insight from my coach. His care for the team was never in doubt, but beyond the set piece drills we were encouraged to work and improve on our own. This compounded my frustration at not winning the matches that would improve my ranking. It was only when I began coaching for a living after my college days were over that I discovered some of my technical and tactical limitations.

In both cases, for whatever reasons, I wasn't assertive enough at the time to be able to articulate what I needed from my teachers. One was very much on the command and control side of teaching, the other expected me to do so much on my own, I felt lost at sea.

So if we could go back in time and improve the teaching aspects of these scenarios, what changes could we make? From an Inner Game perspective the following points seem to be crucial.

1. Give Ownership.
Make sure the student owns their learning.

'Coaching is a dance in which the learner,
not the coach, is the leader.'
Tim Gallwey - The Inner Game of Work

A simple shift in ownership is obtained by awareness of the student's agenda and giving them primary choice over the direction of learning. Perhaps this is easier said than done as it is still so ingrained in our thinking that the teacher should be in charge and, like a doctor, will provide the expert assessment, the diagnosis and then prescribe the remedy. Interesting that the assumption behind this archetype is that we're already broken and need outside help to get fixed. Compare this to one of the basic assumptions behind Inner Game coaching - that the student already has enormous potential and can improve their performance and learning from the inside.

The benefits of making sure the student owns their learning in terms of responsibility, self-esteem, motivation and subsequent engagement in the learning process are worth thinking about. If the coach takes complete control of the coaching relationship there is a price to pay. The student invariably feels less empowered and can lose motivation to problem-solve, becoming dependent on the coach. When they find themselves out there on their own in a tennis match, they will pay that price.

2. Have Flexibility.
Be able to blend coach input with student input in a way that minimises interference with the student's learning. Use a mix of telling and effective questioning appropriate for each individual.

Let's extend the metaphor of coaching being a dance a little further. David Hemery, Olympic gold medallist and author of 'How to Help Children Find the Champion within Themselves' discovered a way of illustrating the coaching process whilst mind-mapping feedback from delegates on a coach training course.

Starting with 'To improve performance' in the centre, he asked the group, 'What does a coach actually DO to achieve performance improvement?' Their answers fell into two sides of the page - one side forming the traditional teaching role of giving advice, sharing best practice, challenging and encouraging - all useful but all coach centred. The other side balanced the model comprising qualities of coaching that made the performer more self-aware and self-responsible - largely initiated by asking effective, mostly open, questions.

'The dance refers to the fact that both sides are needed and therefore we need to dance from one side to the other.

It provides:
traditional sharing of expertise and adds the
'how to' of empowerment, thereby generating
Personal Development as well as Performance Improvement'
David Hemery

There are many ways to move from one side of the model to the other. One effective solution might look like this in a group situation;

*Demonstrate the split step and explain how it can enhance performance (coach-centred).

*Then define the parameters (in this case with a demo) - show where the ball is in its flight when the split step is very late and where it is when the split step is much too early (coach-centred or performer centred).

*Then send the group out to discover where the ball is when they split (performer-centred).

To explore this way of using the Coaching Dance further, the process described is to:
1. Present a technical, tactical, physical or mental focus point (coach-centred).

2. Define the parameters of the exploration (coach-centred suggestion or performer-centred discussion).

3. Ask the student to find out whilst performing where they are within these parameters (performer-centred non-judgemental observation).

3. Ask.
Never assume what's going on inside the student's mind before a coaching intervention.

The key importance of asking effective questions was discussed in our last Inner Works Coaching article 'Embracing the Inner Game' by Andy Knibbs. Funnelling questions to increase awareness is one aspect of asking. A second use of asking is to discover the student's agenda and to ensure the direction of the session is in harmony with their goals and interests as it progresses.

In our training days with Inner Works Coaching, it is quite common for coaches to find that they are stuck on one side of the Coaching Dance. Some are so used to taking the lead that it feels very strange to make a seamless transition to following the student's direction of interest. My art teacher was stuck in the same way. A more flexible approach could have made all the difference to my developing whatever potential I had as an artist.

An example of this happened recently on an Inner Tennis training day and our participant coach was surprised at how easy it was to get unstuck. He had come to the net to talk to the student and was so busy internalising and thinking what to prescribe next that the weight of responsibility was visibly beginning to affect him. And with his attention diverted he missed the non-verbal communication that was coming from the student. Although the coach was practising being on the non-directive side, he was using his directive mode to try to get there.

He felt stuck and asked for a suggestion. 'Look at your student and tell me what you see,' I said. 'Does he look motivated, interested, involved, bored, angry or frustrated?' Clearly now that he looked, the student appeared bored and frustrated. 'What do I do now?' asked the coach, concerned at the revelation. 'Let's see what happens if you just ask him. Get some feedback on what he'd like to explore or practise next and how he'd like to go about it. Then just go with it.'

In two steps, he jumped easily from being coach-centred to performer-centred and rekindled the session. Now the student was engaged and enthusiastic again. Step one was to stop and look for non-verbal signals. Step two was to ask (confirming his interpretation of the observed body language) and follow the student's agenda to get back on track to high level focus.

A few years ago during one of our Inner Tennis tutor training days with Sir John Whitmore and Caroline Harris, we found that we were equally blind to the needs of the student guinea pigs but stuck on the other side of the Coaching Dance. Some of them were so frustrated at not being coached in the way they expected that it became quite embarrassing. They wanted to be told. But the trainee tutor team had become 'effective questioning warriors'. We were asking them to dance to a song that they couldn't dance to. Learning for the guinea pigs was at a premium that day. The tutors learned heaps.

4. Care.
Make sure the student really knows that you have their best interests at heart.

'Coaching is an art that must be learned mostly from experience. In the Inner Game approach, coaching can be defined as the facilitation of mobility. It is the art of creating an environment, through conversation and a way of being, that facilitates the process by which a person can move toward desired goals in a fulfilling manner. It requires one essential ingredient that cannot be taught: caring not only for external results but for the person being coached.'
Tim Gallwey - The Inner Game of Work

I'm sure most of us would agree that caring for the person being coached is a prerequisite to effective coaching. If communication is limited to the tennis-specific part of the student, rapport can suffer and this may well create tension and disrupt the student's focus. The whole person needs to be brought into the coaching process for best results.

The initial greeting can make or break rapport. If a brief acknowledgement of what's going on in the student's life is included, the sense of a safety net of care for the whole person puts the lesson outcome in perspective. This can encourage the student to take on challenges with less fear of being judged. A degree of care can easily be achieved by simply asking if they have had to rush to get to the lesson, if it was a good day at school or work, how they are feeling and checking their energy level on a scale of 1-10 before proceeding with this in mind.

Performer-centred empathic listening skills will send a clear message to most students that you care. And once the student feels that you care, it becomes safer to step into a more authoritative role if needed - to challenge a behaviour and not the person. Tim Gallwey was once asked in an interview where the Inner Game stood on the spectrum of 'hard' and 'soft' coaching styles. He replied;

'Style is one thing and substance is another. The important thing is that the care be there. The coach has to care about the person being coached and the person needs to know it. Then there can be a time for both hard and soft styles. I have been on the receiving end of the mince-no-words approach when it really helped me because I knew I was not being personally attacked. There have also been times when I needed a more receptive and encouraging approach. So much depends on the situation and the relationship between coach and student. I don't believe that a good coaching relationship is ever characterised by fear. Fear will generally cause self-interference and lessen one's maximum performance. The relationship should, I believe, be one of mutual respect and trust, one in which the coach has the best interests of the client in mind.'

The Song of Learning

Strange as it may seem, non-directive coaching skills are sometimes equated with non-involvement and the abdication of responsibility as a coach - even lack of care. And if unskilfully applied, these can be the consequences, as was the case in my college experience. But if my coach had been more aware of striking an effective balance between coach and player responsibility perhaps I would have learned what I needed to help me improve my ranking. I wasn't quite ready to sing on my own.

And if my art teacher had just asked me how he could have helped, without diving in and taking the brush out of my hand, I may even have asked him how to make the shadows look better. Teacher and student would have been in harmony, maximising learning. I never put the same amount of effort into my art lessons after the McEnroe portrait incident. The song just didn't feel the same.

So perhaps we can begin to listen more closely to the Song of Learning that accompanies the Coaching Dance. As I continue to practise these skills in my own coaching, I am ever more acutely aware of the importance of creating harmonious coaching environments without the discord of mental interference, where the student has achieved a high level of focussed attention so crucial to effective learning, performance and enjoyment.

And yes, Mr McEnroe does have a lot to answer for. Maybe I'll have another go at that painting one day.

Peter Farthing
April 2007

Top


	Song and Dance How to Ensure Coach and Student are Singing from the Same Song Sheet with The Inner Game I can remember clearly the feelings of anger, frustration and lack of self-worth as my art teacher leaned over my shoulder with an air of infallibility and began to paint over John McEnroe's shorts in the mistaken belief that they were too short. 'This is the way they need to look', he said as he took the brush from my hand. 'Watch how I use a touch of darker grey to make the shadows better.' I had devoted a very focussed portion of the lesson to crafting the details of Mr McEnroe's clothing and although I realised he would never know of the dubious honour he was being given on top of his Wimbledon trophies, it was somehow very important to me to do justice to his achievements. But now it was no longer my picture. Later, I showed the painting to my mum hoping for the approval that had been withheld earlier. She did everything she could to praise my efforts, but it didn't quite redress the balance and even when I made a proper song and dance about the incident to get it off my chest, the resentment lived on. Perhaps that's one of the things that attracted me to the Inner Game years later. Another time when I was struggling to work my way up my college team rankings in America, I remember feeling a little too isolated, in need of some expert insight from my coach. His care for the team was never in doubt, but beyond the set piece drills we were encouraged to work and improve on our own. This compounded my frustration at not winning the matches that would improve my ranking. It was only when I began coaching for a living after my college days were over that I discovered some of my technical and tactical limitations. In both cases, for whatever reasons, I wasn't assertive enough at the time to be able to articulate what I needed from my teachers. One was very much on the command and control side of teaching, the other expected me to do so much on my own, I felt lost at sea. So if we could go back in time and improve the teaching aspects of these scenarios, what changes could we make? From an Inner Game perspective the following points seem to be crucial. 1. Give Ownership. Make sure the student owns their learning. 'Coaching is a dance in which the learner, not the coach, is the leader.' Tim Gallwey - The Inner Game of Work A simple shift in ownership is obtained by awareness of the student's agenda and giving them primary choice over the direction of learning. Perhaps this is easier said than done as it is still so ingrained in our thinking that the teacher should be in charge and, like a doctor, will provide the expert assessment, the diagnosis and then prescribe the remedy. Interesting that the assumption behind this archetype is that we're already broken and need outside help to get fixed. Compare this to one of the basic assumptions behind Inner Game coaching - that the student already has enormous potential and can improve their performance and learning from the inside. The benefits of making sure the student owns their learning in terms of responsibility, self-esteem, motivation and subsequent engagement in the learning process are worth thinking about. If the coach takes complete control of the coaching relationship there is a price to pay. The student invariably feels less empowered and can lose motivation to problem-solve, becoming dependent on the coach. When they find themselves out there on their own in a tennis match, they will pay that price. 2. Have Flexibility. Be able to blend coach input with student input in a way that minimises interference with the student's learning. Use a mix of telling and effective questioning appropriate for each individual. Let's extend the metaphor of coaching being a dance a little further. David Hemery, Olympic gold medallist and author of 'How to Help Children Find the Champion within Themselves' discovered a way of illustrating the coaching process whilst mind-mapping feedback from delegates on a coach training course. Starting with 'To improve performance' in the centre, he asked the group, 'What does a coach actually DO to achieve performance improvement?' Their answers fell into two sides of the page - one side forming the traditional teaching role of giving advice, sharing best practice, challenging and encouraging - all useful but all coach centred. The other side balanced the model comprising qualities of coaching that made the performer more self-aware and self-responsible - largely initiated by asking effective, mostly open, questions. 'The dance refers to the fact that both sides are needed and therefore we need to dance from one side to the other. It provides: traditional sharing of expertise and adds the 'how to' of empowerment, thereby generating Personal Development as well as Performance Improvement' David Hemery There are many ways to move from one side of the model to the other. One effective solution might look like this in a group situation; Demonstrate the split step and explain how it can enhance performance (coach-centred). Then define the parameters (in this case with a demo) - show where the ball is in its flight when the split step is very late and where it is when the split step is much too early (coach-centred or performer centred). Then send the group out to discover where the ball is when they split (performer-centred). To explore this way of using the Coaching Dance further, the process described is to: 1. Present a technical, tactical, physical or mental focus point (coach-centred). 2. Define the parameters of the exploration (coach-centred suggestion or performer-centred discussion). 3. Ask the student to find out whilst performing where they are within these parameters (performer-centred non-judgemental observation). 3. Ask.* Never assume what's going on inside the student's mind before a coaching intervention. The key importance of asking effective questions was discussed in our last Inner Works Coaching article 'Embracing the Inner Game' by Andy Knibbs. Funnelling questions to increase awareness is one aspect of asking. A second use of asking is to discover the student's agenda and to ensure the direction of the session is in harmony with their goals and interests as it progresses. In our training days with Inner Works Coaching, it is quite common for coaches to find that they are stuck on one side of the Coaching Dance. Some are so used to taking the lead that it feels very strange to make a seamless transition to following the student's direction of interest. My art teacher was stuck in the same way. A more flexible approach could have made all the difference to my developing whatever potential I had as an artist. An example of this happened recently on an Inner Tennis training day and our participant coach was surprised at how easy it was to get unstuck. He had come to the net to talk to the student and was so busy internalising and thinking what to prescribe next that the weight of responsibility was visibly beginning to affect him. And with his attention diverted he missed the non-verbal communication that was coming from the student. Although the coach was practising being on the non-directive side, he was using his directive mode to try to get there. He felt stuck and asked for a suggestion. 'Look at your student and tell me what you see,' I said. 'Does he look motivated, interested, involved, bored, angry or frustrated?' Clearly now that he looked, the student appeared bored and frustrated. 'What do I do now?' asked the coach, concerned at the revelation. 'Let's see what happens if you just ask him. Get some feedback on what he'd like to explore or practise next and how he'd like to go about it. Then just go with it.' In two steps, he jumped easily from being coach-centred to performer-centred and rekindled the session. Now the student was engaged and enthusiastic again. Step one was to stop and look for non-verbal signals. Step two was to ask (confirming his interpretation of the observed body language) and follow the student's agenda to get back on track to high level focus. A few years ago during one of our Inner Tennis tutor training days with Sir John Whitmore and Caroline Harris, we found that we were equally blind to the needs of the student guinea pigs but stuck on the other side of the Coaching Dance. Some of them were so frustrated at not being coached in the way they expected that it became quite embarrassing. They wanted to be told. But the trainee tutor team had become 'effective questioning warriors'. We were asking them to dance to a song that they couldn't dance to. Learning for the guinea pigs was at a premium that day. The tutors learned heaps. 4. Care. Make sure the student really knows that you have their best interests at heart. 'Coaching is an art that must be learned mostly from experience. In the Inner Game approach, coaching can be defined as the facilitation of mobility. It is the art of creating an environment, through conversation and a way of being, that facilitates the process by which a person can move toward desired goals in a fulfilling manner. It requires one essential ingredient that cannot be taught: caring not only for external results but for the person being coached.' Tim Gallwey - The Inner Game of Work I'm sure most of us would agree that caring for the person being coached is a prerequisite to effective coaching. If communication is limited to the tennis-specific part of the student, rapport can suffer and this may well create tension and disrupt the student's focus. The whole person needs to be brought into the coaching process for best results. The initial greeting can make or break rapport. If a brief acknowledgement of what's going on in the student's life is included, the sense of a safety net of care for the whole person puts the lesson outcome in perspective. This can encourage the student to take on challenges with less fear of being judged. A degree of care can easily be achieved by simply asking if they have had to rush to get to the lesson, if it was a good day at school or work, how they are feeling and checking their energy level on a scale of 1-10 before proceeding with this in mind. Performer-centred empathic listening skills will send a clear message to most students that you care. And once the student feels that you care, it becomes safer to step into a more authoritative role if needed - to challenge a behaviour and not the person. Tim Gallwey was once asked in an interview where the Inner Game stood on the spectrum of 'hard' and 'soft' coaching styles. He replied; 'Style is one thing and substance is another. The important thing is that the care be there. The coach has to care about the person being coached and the person needs to know it. Then there can be a time for both hard and soft styles. I have been on the receiving end of the mince-no-words approach when it really helped me because I knew I was not being personally attacked. There have also been times when I needed a more receptive and encouraging approach. So much depends on the situation and the relationship between coach and student. I don't believe that a good coaching relationship is ever characterised by fear. Fear will generally cause self-interference and lessen one's maximum performance. The relationship should, I believe, be one of mutual respect and trust, one in which the coach has the best interests of the client in mind.' The Song of Learning Strange as it may seem, non-directive coaching skills are sometimes equated with non-involvement and the abdication of responsibility as a coach - even lack of care. And if unskilfully applied, these can be the consequences, as was the case in my college experience. But if my coach had been more aware of striking an effective balance between coach and player responsibility perhaps I would have learned what I needed to help me improve my ranking. I wasn't quite ready to sing on my own. And if my art teacher had just asked me how he could have helped, without diving in and taking the brush out of my hand, I may even have asked him how to make the shadows look better. Teacher and student would have been in harmony, maximising learning. I never put the same amount of effort into my art lessons after the McEnroe portrait incident. The song just didn't feel the same. So perhaps we can begin to listen more closely to the Song of Learning that accompanies the Coaching Dance. As I continue to practise these skills in my own coaching, I am ever more acutely aware of the importance of creating harmonious coaching environments without the discord of mental interference, where the student has achieved a high level of focussed attention so crucial to effective learning, performance and enjoyment. And yes, Mr McEnroe does have a lot to answer for. Maybe I'll have another go at that painting one day. Peter Farthing April 2007 Top
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Song and Dance

How to Ensure Coach and Student are Singing from the Same Song Sheet with The Inner Game

How to Ensure Coach and Student are
Singing from the Same Song Sheet with The Inner Game