A Solution To Stuckness

During our recent course at the Herts Coach Education Week, I made a point of highlighting a common trap that coaches can fall into when practising non-directive questioning. Maybe our participants were brilliant on the day, maybe I was brilliant in my explanation, or perhaps it was both (!), but I didn't notice anyone fall into the trap as the day progressed.

The trap appears when a coach is working through the 'What-Where-When-How Much' questions to raise the student's awareness and comes to a point where the student doesn't seem to be able to get any information from the last question. It could well be a brick wall and a signal to look somewhere else or it might be that the coach hasn't quite found the key question to unlock an insight on this particular path of questioning. It doesn't really matter which - what's needed is a way to get moving again.

Stuckness can quickly become an awkward silence and the longer this continues the bigger the trap becomes! Coaches fall into the trap by reacting to this uncomfortable feeling without self-awareness and going into an old directive comfort zone - taking charge in order to mask a breakdown in the follow-on questions. So it might be that, in a golf putting situation, the coach thinks 'Oh **** - this isn't working', reaches a threshold point of feeling uncomfortable and then grasps the first thing they can, saying, 'OK - now I'll move the target for you'.

The student will often agree to this shift for various reasons and so from the outside it might look as if something constructive is happening. Job done if the ego is in charge and in fear of judgement and I've been there myself more than a few times. The coach may realise, however, that underneath it all they were just covering up and this will unlock the door to more skilful coaching.

Here are some quick fixes:

1. Use the Inner Game STOP tool (Stop, Think, Organise and Proceed). It'll help you initially to feel more comfortable with the situation.

2. Know that sometimes if you can allow a bit more space, insights can happen as if by magic. This is something I found very difficult when I was first practising the non-directive skill-set, but I began to build evidence that a little extra time without my input encouraged the student's Self 2 to fill the gap and give them insight and/or improved performance. This was often humbling and at times, magical. These days I have a wonderful sense of curiosity in this situation - excited at what might be just around the corner.

3. If you feel it is appropriate to speak and choose to stay non-directive - just ask the student some more open questions: 'Would you like a bit more time?', 'What would you like to do now?', 'Is there anything else that you noticed?'.

4. If you're using the Awareness Raising Bulls-Eye model, simply jump to the outside of the model and start over. This could happen by asking 'Is there anything else that you noticed?', without having another go at the exercise. If the student is still drawing a blank, though, you can ask, 'Would you like to have another go and let me know what you notice this time?' - thus opening up the questioning to a new direction of follow-on questions, new critical variables and possible new insights.

5. If you sense increasing interference from the student, it may be time to offer your own feedback and suggestions as to what to do next and jump to the directive side of David Hemery's Coaching Dance model for a while. Notice that even this intervention can be offered as a choice, giving the student one more chance to learn from the inside before handing over the reigns of their learning to you for a while.

So, using the STOP model can help us to respond to Stuckness by consciously choosing what do say or do next rather than reacting unconsciously to the situation. The next time you encounter this opportunity, I hope you'll have fun using these simple fixes and get moving again without feeling stuck.

Peter Farthing
February 2010

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	A Solution To Stuckness During our recent course at the Herts Coach Education Week, I made a point of highlighting a common trap that coaches can fall into when practising non-directive questioning. Maybe our participants were brilliant on the day, maybe I was brilliant in my explanation, or perhaps it was both (!), but I didn't notice anyone fall into the trap as the day progressed. The trap appears when a coach is working through the 'What-Where-When-How Much' questions to raise the student's awareness and comes to a point where the student doesn't seem to be able to get any information from the last question. It could well be a brick wall and a signal to look somewhere else or it might be that the coach hasn't quite found the key question to unlock an insight on this particular path of questioning. It doesn't really matter which - what's needed is a way to get moving again. Stuckness can quickly become an awkward silence and the longer this continues the bigger the trap becomes! Coaches fall into the trap by reacting to this uncomfortable feeling without self-awareness and going into an old directive comfort zone - taking charge in order to mask a breakdown in the follow-on questions. So it might be that, in a golf putting situation, the coach thinks 'Oh ** - this isn't working', reaches a threshold point of feeling uncomfortable and then grasps the first thing they can, saying, 'OK - now I'll move the target for you'. The student will often agree to this shift for various reasons and so from the outside it might look as if something constructive is happening. Job done if the ego is in charge and in fear of judgement and I've been there myself more than a few times. The coach may realise, however, that underneath it all they were just covering up and this will unlock the door to more skilful coaching. Here are some quick fixes: 1. Use the Inner Game STOP tool (Stop, Think, Organise and Proceed). It'll help you initially to feel more comfortable with the situation. 2. Know that sometimes if you can allow a bit more space, insights can happen as if by magic. This is something I found very difficult when I was first practising the non-directive skill-set, but I began to build evidence that a little extra time without my input encouraged the student's Self 2 to fill the gap and give them insight and/or improved performance. This was often humbling and at times, magical. These days I have a wonderful sense of curiosity in this situation - excited at what might be just around the corner. 3. If you feel it is appropriate to speak and choose to stay non-directive - just ask the student some more open questions: 'Would you like a bit more time?', 'What would you like to do now?', 'Is there anything else that you noticed?'. 4. If you're using the Awareness Raising Bulls-Eye model, simply jump to the outside of the model and start over. This could happen by asking 'Is there anything else that you noticed?', without having another go at the exercise. If the student is still drawing a blank, though, you can ask, 'Would you like to have another go and let me know what you notice this time?' - thus opening up the questioning to a new direction of follow-on questions, new critical variables and possible new insights. 5. If you sense increasing interference from the student, it may be time to offer your own feedback and suggestions** as to what to do next and jump to the directive side of David Hemery's Coaching Dance model for a while. Notice that even this intervention can be offered as a choice, giving the student one more chance to learn from the inside before handing over the reigns of their learning to you for a while. So, using the STOP model can help us to respond to Stuckness by consciously choosing what do say or do next rather than reacting unconsciously to the situation. The next time you encounter this opportunity, I hope you'll have fun using these simple fixes and get moving again without feeling stuck. Peter Farthing February 2010 Top
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